When it is better not to trust

Because the web is a space like any other, seeking friends and relationships is a natural and legitimate desire.
Violence, however, is not. (Obber, 2024)


We would like to recommend two books for June, both by Cristina Obber and both focusing on online sexual grooming. The first is a novel for young adults, the second is an essay for adults aimed at raising awareness about how this issue affects not only individuals personally but also those who serve as direct or indirect educators of younger generations.

In Ci vediamo in chat (See You in Chat), the story follows Anna Chiara, a girl who seems to have it all: a best friend, a family that spoils her a little, good grades, and everyone says she’s as beautiful as Taylor Swift. Just a few days ago, she even went out with the boy she likes, and he seems to be in love with her. One day, a girl contacts her on Instagram, compliments her, and what begins as a casual exchange quickly turns into a connection that attracts Anna Chiara, making her feel understood and appreciated like never before. But then, a small inconsistency makes Anna Chiara question who she has really opened up to and shared so much of herself with. Soon, she finds herself trapped in a situation much bigger than she ever imagined.

A novel aimed at young people who use technology and communicate through social media. This book addresses the issue of online sexual grooming and reflects Cristina Obber’s extensive experience in middle and high schools, where she conducts in-depth sessions on stereotypes and gender violence, with a focus on new forms of violence in the digital world. “See You in Chat” is the latest book the author has developed, following other works that have long been used in schools to encourage reflection on the many issues affecting young people. In this context, the power of narrative—allowing young readers to identify with characters, experience their emotions, challenges, and growth—is more effective than many parental recommendations, which are often ineffective (Obber, 2024).

When Caterina della Torre asked her in an interview, “Why did you decide to write this book?” Obber replied, “I wrote this book because I couldn’t help it. I had the opportunity to listen to predators, both in and out of prison, to understand how they operate, how many there are, and who they are. Each time, I imagined girls and boys on the other side, even very young ones. I felt the need to give them the chance to defend themselves, to recognize a predator before feeling lost.”

The success of the first book prompted the publisher Solferino to ask Cristina Obber for a popular essay on this increasingly serious phenomenon. Thus, “L’orco in cameretta” (The Ogre in the Bedroom) was born.
To journalist Sabina Pignataro, who asked her about the reason behind the book’s title, Obber replied: “The title comes from a disturbing but real observation: today, dangers no longer come only from outside. The ‘ogres’ no longer wait in parks, dark streets, or changing rooms. Today, they enter our children’s lives through their smartphones. Through the most unsuspected door: their phone. Paradoxically, the bedroom, which for decades has represented a safe refuge, the protected place par excellence, is now one of the most vulnerable spaces.”

Online harassment and abuse of minors show alarming and growing data, with victims of an increasingly younger average age, many now between seven and ten years old, 61 percent of whom are girls. Terms such as grooming, sextortion, revenge porn, and child pornography have now entered our news and our nightmares, but not enough in our conversations or concrete educational plans. This book helps us understand the enemy and learn how to defend ourselves. Cristina Obber has collected the testimonies of victims and the questions of boys and children. She has listened to the perpetrators, who are increasingly younger themselves, and investigated their modus operandi. She has followed the work of police forces combating this widespread phenomenon. In these pages, she does not merely tell the story but offers tools, words, and paths to enter that bedroom, face the ogre, and defeat it.

To meet Cristina Obber, EARTH GARDENERS, in collaboration with the Sardinian Homosexual Movement, has organized three meetings as part of the ” Libri e idee per cambiare” (Books and Ideas to Change) project. This initiative aims to develop reflections on some of the Goals of the 2030 Agenda from an unconventional perspective, engaging authors and guests. The themes connected to these two books will be the focus of the meetings and are inspired by Goal 5 – Gender Equality and Goal 10 – Reduced Inequalities.

The first meeting, Predators Behind the Screen: Online Sexual Solicitation, will be held on Tuesday, 10 June, at 6 pm in Cagliari at “Fico d’India,” Viale Poetto 324.
The author will discuss the topic with Camilla Idda, coordinator and head of the Community for Minors of the Domus de Luna Foundation and Michele Pipia of ARC ODV.
The meeting will be led by Anna Lacci, president of Earth Gardeners APS and expert in environmental communication.

The second event, Family and School: How to Protect Minors from Online Sexual Solicitation, will take place in Oristano on Wednesday, June 11, at 5:30 PM at the Cultural Services Centre, via Carpaccio 9.
The author will be in conversation with Peppino Tilocca, Head of the “De Castro” Classical High School in Oristano, and Simone Sanna Venerdini, President of the Sardinian Homosexual Movement ODV.
The discussion will be moderated by journalist Francesca Arca, Director of the magazine Ieri, Oggi, Domani.

The last meeting, In cameretta: bambini e adolescenti esposti ai predatori online (In the bedroom: children and adolescents exposed to online predators), will take place at the Sassari Municipal Library, Via Piazza Tola 1.
The following will debate with the author: Annalisa Masala, President of Voce Amica; Donatella Moroso, gynecologist and expert in sexual education; and Ivana Marteddu, Vice President of the Sardinian Homosexual Movement ODV.
The meeting will be led by Tiziana Marranci, bookseller and organizer of literary events.

Author: Anna Lacci is a science communicator and expert in environmental education, sustainability, and place-based teaching. She is the author of documentaries, nature books, workbooks, interdisciplinary teaching resources, and multimedia informational materials.

Translated by Maria Antonietta Sessa